Acts of Kindness - Give ‘em a Hand
By Susanne Goldstein on Jan 23, 2008 in Acts of Kindness, The Social Age
Yesterday I was driving to the hospital for some tests. I’m lucky. I can drive in my comfortable car, to my first-class doctors and have my insurance pay for my visit. Parking is valet and life is pretty cushy.
For me.
Not for the Vietnam vet with a sign hanging out on the corner of Cambridge Street. It’s freezing here in Boston. Yesterday was in the mid-twenties. And here is this guy standing on a street corner, having served his (and my) country, in the freezing cold, hoping for handouts. I don’t give money to the homeless. It’s a rule I live by. But I will give what I can. So yesterday, I rolled down my window, and handed this freezing guy with un-covered hands my gloves. He was pretty surprised. I’m not sure anyone had ever done something like that for him before, but to me, it was a natural. Heck, I’ve got 5 more pairs of gloves at home in my toasty apartment above the city. Least I could do is share some of the warmth, however, possible.
I tell this story because in The Social Age, we strive to care for others in any way we can. Yes, he might have been a fraud or he might have been a junky. But at that moment, to me, he was just human. And he was freezing on the street. And I could help.
I ask each of you during this harsh winter time of year, to reach out to others. If a guy is begging outside of Dunkin’ Donuts, don’t give him change, buy him a cup of hot coffee. He’ll be amazingly grateful. Once, I bought one of those self-heating Theracare bands for a guy trying to make money selling “Spare Change”, the local Boston paper distributed by homeless trying to make a small living. It made his day.
You too can make a difference. It’s so easy if you keep you eyes up and your heart open.
In this frigid winter, when we all suffer from a bit of cabin fever and lack of sunlight, remeber that though it is no longer the holiday season, the spirit is still with us.
Thanks Susanne. The ‘Spirit’ of giving and of love is always with us. I’d like to share a story of a few years ago, a story that is deeply etched into my mind. I was in the US a year or two, after I moved here from Romania, and though I barely had a few dollars a month to spend, I did not feel poor. A generous community of monks had adopted me and I was living in a house of spirit and love; I was going to school; life was great, I thought. I was commuting late at night, every night, from South Station to Milton and meeting the same old woman in the train station asking for money. Small of stature, dress raggedly, with long silver hair, she was full of dignity and kindness, but perhaps I was reading into it. One cold night, particularly touched by the kindness of the monks who waited up for me with warm dinner, I spent the last few bucks I had to buy this old woman dinner. I placed it near to her, as she was sleeping on the floor and very content with myself, I was making a quiet exit to the train. Suddently– she opened her eyes, grabbed my coat and started screaming at me. I was stunned and mortified –everyone had stopped to stare–barely making sense of what she was saying, I finally got it. What she said was: “I am asking you for money. If you don’t want to give me money, fine —it’s your choice. But do not patronize me, do not feel pity for me, do not think you can chose for me, do not give me things I am not asking for. I am not part of your status based world, and I live the consequences of my choices. Judge me if you will, and she laughed this frightening short, toothless laugh–you will never understand until you walk in my shoes. Go away now.” It was an extraordinary lesson for me. I thought: we may think that a beggar will drink the money, will do drugs or will do God knows what else which we disapprove. We give a dollar and want control and returns (hoping we do good for society). Since then I always give money if someone is asking for money(if I can give, and as much as I can give), and I do not judge. I give a dollar with respect (Respect is the first thing to go when people beg) and I chose to have faith that they would make the best decision possible under the circumstances.
Comment by Ligia Buzan -- Jan 25, 2008 @ 1:59 am
Wow.
Suzanne and Ligia — your stories are simple proof that sometimes there are more than one “correct” answer, and that each one has merit.
In the end, you just have to do what you feel is right (but not necessarily impose your view on others, saying, “You must do this, to”, but rather, “This is what I’m doing, and here’s why.” which is what you both did.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment by Nez -- Jan 26, 2008 @ 3:09 pm