Comments on: Why Are Some People Always Late? http://thesocialage.com/blog/2008/01/16/why-are-some-people-always-late/ Fri, 12 Mar 2010 09:59:51 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2 By: Marissa http://thesocialage.com/blog/2008/01/16/why-are-some-people-always-late/#comment-18671 Marissa Fri, 29 May 2009 06:35:54 +0000 http://thesocialage.com/blog/2008/01/16/why-are-some-people-always-late/#comment-18671 Wow I know exactly how you feel! I have a friend who is so late that we've actually missed 2 concerts because of her tardiness. I grew up in a household where, like you said, if someone is late they think their time is more valuable. I personally cannot stand to be late anywhere much less have any one waiting on me. I find it ridiculous that some people are late to everything! 5-10 minutes is ok but still not very considerate of the other persons time or feelings. I guess i just don't get it. Wow I know exactly how you feel! I have a friend who is so late that we’ve actually missed 2 concerts because of her tardiness. I grew up in a household where, like you said, if someone is late they think their time is more valuable. I personally cannot stand to be late anywhere much less have any one waiting on me. I find it ridiculous that some people are late to everything! 5-10 minutes is ok but still not very considerate of the other persons time or feelings. I guess i just don’t get it.

]]> By: Ash K http://thesocialage.com/blog/2008/01/16/why-are-some-people-always-late/#comment-16670 Ash K Wed, 01 Apr 2009 22:52:50 +0000 http://thesocialage.com/blog/2008/01/16/why-are-some-people-always-late/#comment-16670 I consider myself as an on time person. I am 80% 2-3 minutes early, sometimes on time, and sometimes 5 minutes late. My boyfriend on the other hand is the CHRONIC LATE PERSON. We always leave the house 2 hours late after me trying to coach him to get ready. Then, if I am patient and don't say anything, I could wait 4-5 hours before leaving the house. There has been several occasions when I let him borrow my car and I was left stranded for 30 minutes- 1.5 hours. When I confront him he gets defensive and angry and say I'm obsessive about time. And the list goes on and on..... I fear one day he will not be there when I really need him one day. I have been going through this for a while and I am getting to the point that where I can't take it any more. I am not sure what to do.... Any suggestions would be helpful! Thanks! I consider myself as an on time person. I am 80% 2-3 minutes early, sometimes on time, and sometimes 5 minutes late. My boyfriend on the other hand is the CHRONIC LATE PERSON. We always leave the house 2 hours late after me trying to coach him to get ready. Then, if I am patient and don’t say anything, I could wait 4-5 hours before leaving the house.

There has been several occasions when I let him borrow my car and I was left stranded for 30 minutes- 1.5 hours. When I confront him he gets defensive and angry and say I’m obsessive about time. And the list goes on and on…..

I fear one day he will not be there when I really need him one day.

I have been going through this for a while and I am getting to the point that where I can’t take it any more. I am not sure what to do….

Any suggestions would be helpful! Thanks!

]]> By: tmw http://thesocialage.com/blog/2008/01/16/why-are-some-people-always-late/#comment-16055 tmw Mon, 09 Mar 2009 01:07:34 +0000 http://thesocialage.com/blog/2008/01/16/why-are-some-people-always-late/#comment-16055 Wow, this post is really a fit for me today! I am always 5 - 10 minutes late, and I'm married to a 20 minutes early person. While we are incredibly compatible in other ways, this needless to say, it the source of great tension. I am indeed a time optimist. it's not that I don't value other people's time (though I am often accused of this) I'm just really bad at estimating how long something will take. the fax example could absolutely be me! I am trying to work on this, as I have been for years. I actually used to be 15 minutes late, so I have improved. But not enough. I don't know what the answer is for me, but viewing it in this way might (might) be a breakthrough. One comment I would make to those early people who are dealing with a "time optimist" like myself is to recognize the improvements - however small. And when those late people in your life are on time (which I am sometimes as well) a litte recognition could go a long way. thanks to those who posted articles. Any suggestions or ideas would be helpful! Wow, this post is really a fit for me today! I am always 5 - 10 minutes late, and I’m married to a 20 minutes early person. While we are incredibly compatible in other ways, this needless to say, it the source of great tension. I am indeed a time optimist. it’s not that I don’t value other people’s time (though I am often accused of this) I’m just really bad at estimating how long something will take. the fax example could absolutely be me! I am trying to work on this, as I have been for years. I actually used to be 15 minutes late, so I have improved. But not enough. I don’t know what the answer is for me, but viewing it in this way might (might) be a breakthrough. One comment I would make to those early people who are dealing with a “time optimist” like myself is to recognize the improvements - however small. And when those late people in your life are on time (which I am sometimes as well) a litte recognition could go a long way.

thanks to those who posted articles. Any suggestions or ideas would be helpful!

]]> By: Blerg http://thesocialage.com/blog/2008/01/16/why-are-some-people-always-late/#comment-15607 Blerg Fri, 20 Feb 2009 08:56:56 +0000 http://thesocialage.com/blog/2008/01/16/why-are-some-people-always-late/#comment-15607 I have a friend who is horribly late and couldn't care less if it bothers anybody else. If she says "okay, I'm ready, let's go", I gab my purse and head out the door towards the car. On average it's about another 20 minutes before the keys are in the ignition and we're actually leaving. One time about 2 hours. Once I even made a point of getting to her place early as we had planned to get going early in the day and I sat around for 2 and a half hours before she was actually ready. This "just relax" attitude she has about time, I'm realizing is disrespectful of others. I'm not a time nazi, but seriously, she must have some sort of control issue or narcissistic trait that leads her to behave this way. I'm usually 20 or so minutes early too. In L.A. you never know what the traffic is going to be like so I usually play it safe if I'm meeting someone. I have a friend who is horribly late and couldn’t care less if it bothers anybody else. If she says “okay, I’m ready, let’s go”, I gab my purse and head out the door towards the car. On average it’s about another 20 minutes before the keys are in the ignition and we’re actually leaving. One time about 2 hours. Once I even made a point of getting to her place early as we had planned to get going early in the day and I sat around for 2 and a half hours before she was actually ready. This “just relax” attitude she has about time, I’m realizing is disrespectful of others. I’m not a time nazi, but seriously, she must have some sort of control issue or narcissistic trait that leads her to behave this way.

I’m usually 20 or so minutes early too. In L.A. you never know what the traffic is going to be like so I usually play it safe if I’m meeting someone.

]]> By: Mohamed http://thesocialage.com/blog/2008/01/16/why-are-some-people-always-late/#comment-6405 Mohamed Sun, 18 May 2008 10:35:32 +0000 http://thesocialage.com/blog/2008/01/16/why-are-some-people-always-late/#comment-6405 Hello Suzanne - I landed here from Roshan's blog! And as a chronic 'time optimist' (but a 2-minutes-late person, not 20) I enjoyed your entry and indeed, some people will tend to assume that things will go perfectly fine -- that the bus will be waiting the moment you get to the station, that the road will be clear, that you can finish editing this report by lunchtime -- and somehow fail to learn from their previous experience that, well, things usually don't work that well! In any event, for other time optimists out there, an interesting article: http://lifestyle.msn.com/mindbodyandsoul/personalgrowth/articlegh.aspx?cp-documentid=7245693&page=1 Good luck to everyone in being on time! And for those who feel upset that some of us are late - it sincerely isn't a question of disrespect, or 'my time is more valuable than yours' argument.. because we're just as likely to be late for a plane as it is for our lunch appointment! :) Hello Suzanne - I landed here from Roshan’s blog!
And as a chronic ‘time optimist’ (but a 2-minutes-late person, not 20) I enjoyed your entry and indeed, some people will tend to assume that things will go perfectly fine — that the bus will be waiting the moment you get to the station, that the road will be clear, that you can finish editing this report by lunchtime — and somehow fail to learn from their previous experience that, well, things usually don’t work that well!

In any event, for other time optimists out there, an interesting article: http://lifestyle.msn.com/mindbodyandsoul/personalgrowth/articlegh.aspx?cp-documentid=7245693&page=1

Good luck to everyone in being on time! And for those who feel upset that some of us are late - it sincerely isn’t a question of disrespect, or ‘my time is more valuable than yours’ argument.. because we’re just as likely to be late for a plane as it is for our lunch appointment! :)

]]> By: Debbie http://thesocialage.com/blog/2008/01/16/why-are-some-people-always-late/#comment-2593 Debbie Tue, 22 Jan 2008 16:28:13 +0000 http://thesocialage.com/blog/2008/01/16/why-are-some-people-always-late/#comment-2593 As a chronically late person, this was an accurate catalog of the many emotions I experience while driving (or walking)somewhere where I know I will be (or already are) late. I appreciated Fortnoy's comments that I need to value my own time. That is a new take on this. I do and will continue to try to be on time, but I will have successful days and lapse days. As a chronically late person, this was an accurate catalog of the many emotions I experience while driving (or walking)somewhere where I know I will be (or already are) late.

I appreciated Fortnoy’s comments that I need to value my own time. That is a new take on this.

I do and will continue to try to be on time, but I will have successful days and lapse days.

]]> By: Fortnoy amnestoy http://thesocialage.com/blog/2008/01/16/why-are-some-people-always-late/#comment-2578 Fortnoy amnestoy Tue, 22 Jan 2008 05:59:49 +0000 http://thesocialage.com/blog/2008/01/16/why-are-some-people-always-late/#comment-2578 It's easy to conclude that the chronically late don't value other people's time as much as their own, however, it's the opposite that's actually a lot closer to the truth. It is their OWN time they don't value. They're the ones that agreed to be there. So, they don't value their own word either. Being late always starts every meeting, or appointment off on the wrong foot. The late person begins with a handicap, and thus presents themselves as less than who they are. backpedaling and apologies ensue, or they try and justify or defend their lateness. Shame, ineffectiveness, resentment etc. etc. add infinitum. When the chronically late finally confront that it is themselves whom they are really hurting, then their it is time for an epiphany, and hopefully before it's too late. It’s easy to conclude that the chronically late don’t value other people’s time as much as their own, however, it’s the opposite that’s actually a lot closer to the truth. It is their OWN time they don’t value.
They’re the ones that agreed to be there. So, they don’t value their own word either. Being late always starts every meeting, or appointment off on the wrong foot. The late person begins with a handicap, and thus presents themselves as less than who they are. backpedaling and apologies ensue, or they try and justify or defend their lateness. Shame, ineffectiveness, resentment
etc. etc. add infinitum. When the chronically late finally confront that it is themselves whom they are really hurting, then their it is time for an epiphany, and hopefully before it’s too late.

]]> By: Roshan http://thesocialage.com/blog/2008/01/16/why-are-some-people-always-late/#comment-2573 Roshan Tue, 22 Jan 2008 02:40:30 +0000 http://thesocialage.com/blog/2008/01/16/why-are-some-people-always-late/#comment-2573 This doesn't apply to Rachel but your post made me think this: http://roshanpaul.blogspot.com/2008/01/my-friend-susanne-recently-published.html Hope you are well! This doesn’t apply to Rachel but your post made me think this: http://roshanpaul.blogspot.com/2008/01/my-friend-susanne-recently-published.html

Hope you are well!

]]> By: Steve Shapiro http://thesocialage.com/blog/2008/01/16/why-are-some-people-always-late/#comment-2571 Steve Shapiro Tue, 22 Jan 2008 01:11:20 +0000 http://thesocialage.com/blog/2008/01/16/why-are-some-people-always-late/#comment-2571 Pam, Rachel, and the other Enneagram 7s (and anyone else who cares): I too am a 7 on the Enneagram. And although we may have a tendency to be late (or a time optimist), I choose to always be early (most of the time). In fact, I wrote an article entitled, "How to Always be on Time." You can check it out at: http://www.steveshapiro.com/2007/04/03/how-to-always-be-on-time/ [if that link doesn't work, try http://tinyurl.com/2l9obg] Enjoy! Steve Pam, Rachel, and the other Enneagram 7s (and anyone else who cares):

I too am a 7 on the Enneagram. And although we may have a tendency to be late (or a time optimist), I choose to always be early (most of the time).

In fact, I wrote an article entitled, “How to Always be on Time.”

You can check it out at:
http://www.steveshapiro.com/2007/04/03/how-to-always-be-on-time/

[if that link doesn’t work, try http://tinyurl.com/2l9obg]

Enjoy!

Steve

]]> By: Pam (aka Rachel) http://thesocialage.com/blog/2008/01/16/why-are-some-people-always-late/#comment-2558 Pam (aka Rachel) Mon, 21 Jan 2008 19:20:50 +0000 http://thesocialage.com/blog/2008/01/16/why-are-some-people-always-late/#comment-2558 I recently took the Enneagram test. Turns out I'm a 7 and 7's are labeled as adventurers and enthusiasts but we also procrastinate, appear scattered, and have commitment issues. No doubt, 7's are time optimists as well, we simply don't want to miss out on anything and are absolutely convinced we can somehow be here and there at the same time. In some parallel universe, we thrive! I recently took the Enneagram test. Turns out I’m a 7 and 7’s are labeled as adventurers and enthusiasts but we also procrastinate, appear scattered, and have commitment issues. No doubt, 7’s are time optimists as well, we simply don’t want to miss out on anything and are absolutely convinced we can somehow be here and there at the same time. In some parallel universe, we thrive!

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